why chase you when you have left my essence. you never cared thats why I'm sitting here in an empty soul in a depleted home with no cares. now is my turn to not care. leave for i love the loneliness you have given me. he sits next to me like a father like a soul i never had. he loves me with the earth that has been so alien to me with this hand on what feels like every inch of my nerves. who is the shadowed man for he has no name and no home. he floats in spaces until needed and never fails to be all that i need. others stare at me waiting for a sign. what sign shall i give the child i once was? how about the mother i wished i had? the man that i fear is the real me and his accomplish what sign shall they look for? where am i? what sign shall i give myself to warn myself of the cliff of sanity that i have fell off of so many steps ago. numbness? hopelessness? darkness? trapped with no way out? prisoned? those are the signs that those i truly love have given me to jump off that cliff. where is the cloud that will catch me? its buried deep in that rainfall that shade of sadness. i will stop that rainfall. my happiness will come in moments of bliss. they ask a god to bless them, where is my god? he died with the faith i never had. i have to run up this mountain to the top of zion to raise my voice to the rainfall. to cry to the dark skies, let me be free!