Life on Pills
I realized early this week as i was taking my morning medication (breakfast) that this is going to be a routine of mine for probably my entire life. It's unfair that naturally my brain doesn't produce the right amount of chemicals for me to live a normal life, so i have to Pop a Pill. All medications I take are prescribed. Over the years of my life i have developed insomnia, OCD, ADD and either Depression or an emotional disorder. I don't know any longer whether the kid that i am every day truly is me. I feel empty, and unmotivated, but i guess thats the price i have to pay for being born with such a fucked up mind. No one knows that i'm as broken as i really am, I hide it well. I'm just the nice kid who makes people laugh. But my mind constantly chugs away at my ego and sanity. I have become feather in the wind, i go wherever the wind blows me. I've given up trying to fight the wind. I hate knowing that I will never truly be myself, but i also know that when i am meds free i fall to incredibly depressing depths. I do my best to be society's slave, like everybody else, but i will never learn to enjoy it.
Korn keeps me going.