I cannot remember if I have mentioned my grandfather in previous blogs. If not, I'll give you a much summarized explanation. He was diagnosed with lung cancer about a year and a half or two years ago. He had surgery and got a wire mesh over his ribs. We thought he was better. Later, the cancer came back, but this time it had taken over his entire body and was told he had a few months. Yeah, i tried to prepare myself for this because this previous summer, my uncle (PaPa's oldest son, age 36) passed away in his apartment. I'm still not used to all this sickness and death. It's confusing and it hurts. He was on chemo, but it only was going to add about 3 months to his life span, and it made him so bad that he couldn't even stand up. It's been a few months now.
Well, I found out last night at 8:45 that he is now going into hospice. I take my ACT this Saturday, then I'm going down to see him at a ball game. This will be the last time I will ever see him. He's only in his 50's. He has been a part of my life since my birth. I wanted so badly to cry last night, but my family acts as though I shouldn't. They told me not to freak out because I knew this was going to happen.
Sure, I knew it was eventually going to come to this... But that doesn't mean I wanted to or chose to really believe it. This really adds to the stress I've been dealing with lately. Along with constant studying, pressure over grades, feeling like a disappointment, and depression along with my severe anxiety...and a sinus infection.
Guys, life is hard.