Thank You

Thu, Jul 14, 2011 at 7:39 PM By: Shawshank

About 3 weeks ago, my uncle died. He was in his 50's, but had drank and smoked pretty heavily his whole life. My uncle was a personal hero of mine. He was a New York city cop, and an expert hostage negotiator. He once turned down a bribe for a million dollars in cash for a cocaine bust. His picture was front page New York Times surrounded by the cash he turned down. He once spent a week with Robert Dinero, who was studying how cops really are, for the movie Midnight Run.

We all handle death in different ways. I ended up logging on the Korn site for the first time, and began getting involved on here, maybe in part as a distraction. I didn't get to go to the funeral, since it was in New York. I guess I have tried to not make much of a deal about it.

But last weekend I got overwhelmed with things in my life, and things on here. Somebody sent me a personal message pretty much saying I am fake, a poor writer and that my material shows I'm lost and confused.
The truth is, I am lost and confused. The message I got was silly, but it was a last straw kind of a thing. I got off the site to clear my head and handle some of those issues.

I have really missed being on here. Some of you have been amazing friends and I really appreciate all you have helped me with. I will be back on, maybe soon, maybe later. I have a film script I've been working on for a long time now and have been drawn toward finishing as of late. It is my way of venting to some degree, so I'm trying to focus on that right now. When it's done, I hope to be back in full force.

You guys are awesome. Your comments and messages have been very sweet and helped me a lot. I'll be back as soon as I can.


On a side note, Missinglife's last blog post made me cry. If anybody in here gives her a hard time, things won't be pretty.

  1. Tazz DeVille avatar

    On Mon, Aug 25, 2014 at 3:49 PM, Tazz DeVille said:

    If they dont like the things you write then they SHOULDNT READ IT !!! DUH ...fuck em...

  2. Josie avatar

    On Fri, Jul 22, 2011 at 9:31 AM, Josie said:

    I know how hard this can be. I lost my Aunt Patty in April and couldn't get home in time for the funeral. I did get home for the memorial service, but I really wanted to be home for the funeral. Her death was rather sudden and unexpected due to complications from a kidney infection while undergoing chemotherapy. I feel your pain Shaw! Never EVER give any attention to the "haters". Just take them with a grain of salt man. You will never be able to please everyone all of the time. It's just the way of things. I hope to see you back in the chat soon mister...we miss you!

  3. Kornered avatar

    On Fri, Jul 22, 2011 at 6:59 AM, Kornered said:

    I'm new here so I don't know you, but I think it's shitty that someone would send you such a hurtful email. Also very sorry for your loss, it sounds like your Uncle was a great guy.

  4. Traci avatar

    On Fri, Jul 15, 2011 at 12:00 PM, Traci said:

    I think you have amazing talent and it sounds like MOST people on here agree with me. You have inspired a lot of people and you should see that by the words in all of the posts. When someone comes at you the way your messenger did it should show you that you are better off without those kind of people in your life and good thing you can get rid of that kind of person now, before you get shit on more. Surround yourself with awesome people who love your stuff because you are talented and amazing and you need to have the people around you that will remind you of that. See you back soon, and from someone who has lost a loved one...Im deeply sorry for your loss and have felt that pain. Cherish the memories it keeps them alive in your soul........

  5. ghostdancer80000000 avatar

    On Fri, Jul 15, 2011 at 8:58 AM, ghostdancer80000000 said:

    well shaw I understand that even one bad message can really hurt you and cause you to rethink things, but i am so glad that you realize your talents and that, that person is a fukin idiot, I am sorry about your uncle but i am happy that you came on here to clear your mind. Now please dont let anyone stop you from writing I jus cant take it another time, I will be deeply crushed

  6. Xusi avatar

    On Fri, Jul 15, 2011 at 8:48 AM, Xusi said:

    The message sender is a coward .. pure and simple.
    It's too easy to sit and take someone down and they are just faceless ..
    Really big of them .. wasn't it!
    To sit at their screen and spew hate!

    Keep writing, creativity is a personal issue ..
    One person decides to hate but so many more receive something from your shares and THAT is what is important (X)

    I'm deeply sorry for your loss ..
    He sounds like one amazing man, and I think the world was better for knowing him .. but then you are amazing too!
    Don't allow someones idle words to take you down Bro!

  7. Spansie avatar

    On Fri, Jul 15, 2011 at 8:27 AM, Spansie said:

    Sorry to hear about your uncle. Try not to care about bad critics, cause no one can please everyone. I don't get it, how somebody cares to waste his/her own time for dissing someone. I was happy when I noticed that there was a new blog for you! Hope you gonna feel much better soon and come back!

  8. BamBam avatar

    On Fri, Jul 15, 2011 at 3:20 AM, BamBam said:

    WOW! Im glad to see you easing your way back. It hasn't been the same without you! I miss your stories and your blogs. You my friend are awesome!! Dont forget it.

  9. Bene Gesserit avatar

    On Thu, Jul 14, 2011 at 8:44 PM, Bene Gesserit said:

    All I can say is I'm sorry your going through this tough time but I beleive you will make the most of it by delving inside and producing something unique and original in your transcript. You will feel loads better afterwards and may even be a new and better you because of it. I support you 100%, love your writing and songs. To the dumbass who messaged you: you are OBVIOUSLY JEALOUS and need to get over it.

  10. pfloydmaster avatar

    On Thu, Jul 14, 2011 at 8:11 PM, pfloydmaster said:

    First and foremost, you, sir, are an exceptional writer and musician. Your music and stories have a quality that far exceeds most I personally have read and heard. The stories make me excited for the next chapter.

    There will always be critics. We can't please 100% of the people 100% of the time. It will never happen. If we could just think of the utopian society we would be living in now. WE look at those who are critical and move past them. Every person on this site has one Korn song they don't like but Korn continues to make music. They never gave up (not implying that you are giving up). This is just the way the world works.

    You, my brother, have a talent...a gift! I truly hope you see that and continue to bring your stories and music to the world. I know that you truly make us better by sharing and for that I say Thank You!

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