Cowboys and Aliens

Fri, Jul 29, 2011 at 4:01 AM By: Shawshank

3 stars out of 5. Will most likely be enjoyed by horny women.

The Good-


For the most part, it was entertaining. It was written by Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman, who also wrote the 1st two Transformers movies, the newest Star Trek movie, Mission Impossible 3 and the last Zorro movies. So as you can expect, there were a lot of one liners with the same kind of attitude as in those other movies.

It was directed by Jon Favreau, who directed the Iron Man movies. I think he has demonstrated that he has a pretty good eye when it comes to camera work, and there were a lot of cool looking scenes in this movie.

The best thing about this movie however was a pretty damn near flawless performance by Daniel Craig. If you liked his raw, tough guy portrayal of James Bond in Casino Royal, you will like him in this movie. His American accent was great, and he definitely commanded the screen. Its was hard to believe the guy is British.

The Bad-


Parts kinda dragged. Most of the plot was good, but also predictable. The most original aspect of the story is that you have cowboys fighting aliens, and obviously that is no big secret. Its not very suspenseful.

There were also a lot of very dark scenes. And by dark I mean it was hard to see the screen, even in a black movie theater. I couldn't help wonder how anyone was going to manage watching this movie in there living room if god forbid any of the lights are on.

The main girl in the movie couldn't act. That would have been more understandable if she was hot, since a lot of female actresses seem to get roles based on sex appeal rather than talent, but she was not really that attractive. Her eyes are her most redeeming quality, but they have this confused look all the time.


The Ugly-
Parts of this were extremely cheesy. I don't want to give too much away, but the worst parts had to do with a humming bird, a pointing hand, and the girl that can't act. Another thing I can't stand is when people are in a dangerous situation and stop to kiss or talk, in the middle of a battle. If it was a really quick kiss, or "Thanks for saving my life", I would understand. But the way everything goes on pause for two minutes so the can have a moment in safety really irritates me for some reason. Oh wait, I know why- cuz every other fucking movie does it!


In conclusion-
All this being said, if you have a crush on Daniel Craig, you will love this movie. If you are a hillbilly who believes your uncle was raped by extra-terrestrials, you will also love this movie. Most of the rest of you will enjoy most of the movie.... the first time you see it.

  1. Katrina Marley avatar

    On Thu, Aug 25, 2011 at 4:19 PM, Katrina Marley said:

    I love Daniel Craig :)

  2. Xusi avatar

    On Sun, Jul 31, 2011 at 8:50 AM, Xusi said:

    "If you are a hillbilly who believes your uncle was raped by extra-terrestrials, you will also love this movie."

    LOLOLOLOL ;O

  3. Spansie avatar

    On Sat, Jul 30, 2011 at 7:15 AM, Spansie said:

    It feels like an eternity when I first time read about this movie coming. Can't wait to see it :D

  4. KnifeMaster avatar

    On Fri, Jul 29, 2011 at 9:24 PM, KnifeMaster said:

    I'm horny but I'd prefer to save 10 bucks and 3 hours and just watch the free, action packed, emotionally void porn that is so easily accessible these days.

  5. pfloydmaster avatar

    On Fri, Jul 29, 2011 at 4:32 PM, pfloydmaster said:

    Thanks for the review Shaw. Now I know what NOT to go see! And BTW...how did you find out about my uncle?????

  6. Tammie avatar

    On Fri, Jul 29, 2011 at 6:45 AM, Tammie said:

    I'll have to think about going to the theater then, to see this. I don't usually go see things in the theater, unless it's a MUST. Like Transformers, Fast & Furious 5, ect.......lol!
    I don't have a crush on Daniel Craig and I'm not a horny woman....hahahaha, so I'll watch it based on the title. Oh and the hillbilly part! ROFL!! Great review Shaws! It's good to get a little insight, before spending hundreds of dollars on theater tickets & popcorn ;)

  7. Mr ED avatar

    On Fri, Jul 29, 2011 at 4:50 AM, Mr ED said:

    wow, great review. atleast i know that i will like it based on the hillbilly part

  8. Sussi avatar

    On Fri, Jul 29, 2011 at 4:38 AM, Sussi said:

    Doesn't sound like a movie I must see then. Thanks for the review and Shawshank, GOOD to see you are back to your usual self ;-)

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