I'd Rather Die
I haven't done right by you in a very long time, and I am by no means a devoted follower. I've doubted your presence even after getting saved and baptized. I'm in a stage right now as we speak where I'm doubting your existence and not staying in contact with you as I should. I don't deserve anything good from you. I haven't done my best for you, and I truly am sorry.
If this is the last thing you ever do for me, so be it, but please don't take my mother away.
She's sick, and her symptoms are incredibly similar to those of someone with leukemia. She has been to the doctor and they have ran tests and all kinds of scans. Her white blood count is very high, her joints are sore, she's always tired, she has night sweats and fevers....I'm really worried.
God, you know I would do anything for my mom. I would kill for her, and willingly be killed so she would be saved. Please do not take her away. I would rather be dead than have her dead. She's fucked up a lot in her life, and has made bad decisions. But who hasn't? I've screwed up more than people know, and I have to carry it around daily on my heart and mind. I can say that my mother has tried, and that she has done wonderful compared to some mothers out there. I have so many great memories of her, and I am exponentially thankful for them. She's so beautiful to me. I love her with all of my heart, and I would do anything to keep her alive.
If she dies, I die.