I'd Rather Die

Tue, Jun 4, 2013 at 3:54 PM By: Elf3

I haven't done right by you in a very long time, and I am by no means a devoted follower. I've doubted your presence even after getting saved and baptized. I'm in a stage right now as we speak where I'm doubting your existence and not staying in contact with you as I should. I don't deserve anything good from you. I haven't done my best for you, and I truly am sorry.
If this is the last thing you ever do for me, so be it, but please don't take my mother away.
She's sick, and her symptoms are incredibly similar to those of someone with leukemia. She has been to the doctor and they have ran tests and all kinds of scans. Her white blood count is very high, her joints are sore, she's always tired, she has night sweats and fevers....I'm really worried.
God, you know I would do anything for my mom. I would kill for her, and willingly be killed so she would be saved. Please do not take her away. I would rather be dead than have her dead. She's fucked up a lot in her life, and has made bad decisions. But who hasn't? I've screwed up more than people know, and I have to carry it around daily on my heart and mind. I can say that my mother has tried, and that she has done wonderful compared to some mothers out there. I have so many great memories of her, and I am exponentially thankful for them. She's so beautiful to me. I love her with all of my heart, and I would do anything to keep her alive.
If she dies, I die.

  1. Twisted Transistor avatar

    On Wed, Jun 5, 2013 at 5:53 PM, Twisted Transistor said:

    Embrace hope make it your own! I am a survivor of one the most deadliest cancers, is it s miracle, I do not know, what I do know there is hope .

  2. Twisted Transistor avatar

    On Wed, Jun 5, 2013 at 5:47 PM, Twisted Transistor said:

    Babe, you will not die if she dies, she will continue to live in you.

    My thoughts are with you. I hope you are not offened by my words, I say them from experience. If you are interested in knowing my story, I would welcome an e-mail from you.

  3. Elf3 avatar

    On Wed, Jun 5, 2013 at 1:20 PM, Elf3 said:

    I love you guys. Thank you so much. <3

  4. jayjay avatar

    On Wed, Jun 5, 2013 at 8:48 AM, jayjay said:

    My god that is so power full, I get stuck for words, or some thing to say at a time like this! Hope she finds the energy, the stamina, And don't forget you, And hope you find all the will to help yourself as well. Blessings to you & your mum.xx.=)

  5. Josie avatar

    On Wed, Jun 5, 2013 at 7:23 AM, Josie said:

    Hang in there Elf! Love you girl and your mother and your family are in my thoughts!

  6. pandemonium23 avatar

    On Tue, Jun 4, 2013 at 4:00 PM, pandemonium23 said:

    With all my heart and soul, I hope she gets better. I will pray for her, I promise you...no one should go through that pain, no one. I am not just saying this to make you feel better, I am making a promise...and I keep my promises.

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