What To Do...What To Do
I had gotten to a point where I felt good, you know, confident and sure of the future; my future. Then I get told by my father about how fucked my sister is, and how my mom's a liar. He just wants to 'inform' me...is this right? My mom's an alcoholic, my sister is dating a mixed guy and has moved in with him. Apparently this dude has a past as a pimp, drug dealer, and all this other mess. My dad told me that. I asked him how he knew, and he said that he has 'his sources'. I don't understand and I'm tired of being torn between my mother, my father, and myself. I told dad I was out of the situation, than I'm not taking sides. I'm done with this shit. I can't do anything about what ever might be going on with my sister or my mom...I'm 16 years old and 4 hours away from them. The only thing I can do is worry my fucking head off and feel like shit for smoking pot every day behind my dad's back.
I probably feel like shit because what he says about smoking pot is true. That if 'you can't deal with reality without getting high' is my problem. Possibly...
School is so stressful. All of these people everywhere...something about them all just puts me on edge. I usually text my dad at least twice and week and ask him if there's anyone that can come get me. It's only the third week of school..so I think I should grow up and deal with it.
I feel like shit.